Cancer · Change · Joy · Life · Single Mom · Sorrow · Trials · Trusting God · Widow


So it’s been a week and a half since I posted my last blog about the truth that punched me in the gut. Well the punches just keep on coming.

I like to think I handle changes fairly well for the most part. Pretty much got a crash course in that with Jeff’s cancer battle. Does it mean I like the change? Of course not! Change is hard! And this summer has been full of changes. Some are good, some are bad & some seem like they’re bad, but are likely just not developed enough to see the good that will come of it.

You’ve seen it on here before when I’ve asked how I can pray for people. I often get asked how I can be so uplifting and pray for others when I have my own things to pray for. My answer is always that I get joy out of going to the Lord about things, especially for others. Even though circumstances are hard, talking to God always fills me with joy. Does this mean my pain is taken away in that moment? Often times not… and why not? Why wouldn’t God just take away my pain when I ask Him? Wouldn’t a God who loves me just want me to be happy all the time?! NO!!! God doesn’t call us to be happy… He calls us to be OBEDIENT to His calling. It is in our times of trials and suffering that we get closer to God (when we choose to lean into Him and not run from Him), when we are closer to God we can more clearly understand His will & His will for our lives is simply this: to live a life that is holy and pleasing to him (paraphrasing Romans 12:1), because that is true worship of God. He wants us to love Him and trust Him in the good times and bad. When times are good, it is so easy to get wrapped up into thinking we can do it on our own and that we don’t need God.

So back to the topic of change. So much is changing in my world & if you think of me, please pray for me as I navigate all these changes and the emotions that go along with it. I so desire to handle these changes with humility, honor, integrity & to be a compass to point people to Christ. But changes are hard, and right now I’m hurting. I don’t like it, at all, but I’m going to trust in the providence of God because I know He sees all and is in all, therefore I don’t have to see it all to keep walking the path He is leading me down.

I hate the phrase “when God closes one door he opens a window”… to me that tells people:

1. The answer is right next to you & you’re not looking hard enough

2. The window of opportunity is smaller than the door that was shut

3. You have to work to get yourself through the window (have you ever tried to climb through a window?!)

I do not believe God is opening a window for me… I believe He is providing a path for me to follow. If I do not take the steps of faith to follow the path He has for me, then I will not see His will for me, but without the path to follow, I will get nowhere. Down the path God has made for me is another door, a better door than I could have imagined for myself. I may have to walk the path a while,  but it’s down there somewhere!

I know I’ve said it on Facebook, and I may have even said it here before. I LOVE the song Even If by Mercy me. It always speaks to me, often times makes me cry (but I always need the cry!) & I learn something different almost every time I sing it. I had recently been praying for an outcome to a situation, but still prayed that I accept the answer no matter what the outcome. Well the answer was not what I wanted… So today when listening to Even If, these words stuck out way more than they ever had:

But God, when You choose
To leave mountains unmovable
Oh give me the strength to be able to sing
It is well with my soul

So now, I must continue to sing “it is well with my soul”… even when it hurts… ESPECIALLY when it hurts!!!

So I’m telling you what I’m going to tell myself!!

1.Keep your eye on the path God has for you!

2.Don’t be distracted by windows!

3.Trust where He is leading you!

4.Praise Him along the way!

5. And when you reach the door… jump through feet first and be ready to shout to the world about all He has brought you through!!!

God Bless,



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