Cancer · Change · Joy · Life · Single Mom · Sorrow · Trials · Trusting God · Widow

Eight Months

Goodness, I thought October was busy! November has been just as busy & I don’t anticipate December being any different.

So the Astros won the World Series for the first time in franchise history! It was so exciting to get to watch all of the games with different family and friends. For Game 7 I was with my parents, my son, my brother, his girlfriend, her kid & my grandma. I couldn’t imagine being with a different group of people for this game. It was filled with all sorts of emotions, Jeff was a huge Astros fan, as was my Paw Paw who passed in August. They would have loved watching these games with us and would most definitely have loved to be with the family watching Game 7. In the final outs, my brother went and put on my Paw Paw’s Texas flag jacket. As the final outs were made and the Astros won the game, there was lots of cheering, shouting, hugs, high fives and tears, tears of both joy and missing our loved ones. It was a beautiful moment.

On November 3rd, mom, Jacob & I got to go to the Astros Champions parade downtown with some of our cousins. It was crazy hectic, and getting in and out of downtown was exhausting and  bit stressful, but being at the parade, seeing the hometown heroes, all the fans, the sea of orange and blue, it was quite the experience! Once in a lifetime (hopefully not, hopefully they win it all again real soon!)! This is something I will never forget and I’m so glad I got to experience it with my mom and son!!!

November 11th was the 30th anniversary of my miracle brain surgery (I will try and come back with pictures when I finish scanning them from my baby book). At 5 months old I had hydrocephalus.  In the late 80s this was not a common medical issue and only a few hundred of these brain surgeries had been performed to correct this issue. Even so, in most cases (especially as severe as mine), there weren’t many success stories and those that were successes often resulted in many physical and mental disabilities. So when Dr. Larent came out saying he had performed the best surgery he had ever done, most still believed my parents would face many challenges with me. Little did they know I would wake up a perfectly healthy baby with no side effects! There was no denying the Lord’s hand on my life. There are so many more details to this story (It filled up a 10 minute facebook live post) that I’m sure I would get a hand cramp typing up many pages! All this is to say… God is good… God is the ultimate healer… Jesus Christ is the Lord most High! I would not be here today if it were not for His hand on my life.

Most of November was a blur, a lot of cleaning up the apartment, organizing, etc. I’m still working on it, but I WILL get it done!!!

Thanksgiving weekend was busy but great! We went to the downtown parade, which after fighting millions of people for the Astros parade, this felt like no big deal! The kids had a blast, the weather was gorgeous, it was great family time! After the parade we took Grandma to Luby’s for lunch and then headed to my parents’ place. We took it easy Thursday because we decided to eat Thanksgiving dinner on Friday. So Friday we got up, enjoyed the weather and started cooking. Everything was delicious, but the best part was the together time! It’s been a very long time since my brother, my parents and I got to all be together and happy, and to share it with Jacob, my brother’s girl and her kids made it one of the best Thanksgivings! Friday night Jacob and I headed up to Jeff’s brother’s lake house, and we had a crowd there too! It was nice to relax, get rest and enjoy company. The drive back home yesterday was a bit exhausting… 2 hours back to my parents to pick up my dog and the rest of our things and then another hour and half home. But getting all the family time made it worth it!!! To finish off Thanksgiving weekend Jacob and I ate cereal, put together the Christmas tree and watched The Santa Clause (always one of the first Christmas movies I watch as its my all time favorite). I wasn’t sure how my emotions would be not having Jeff this Thanksgiving, but the Lord brought great comfort and accented the joys in the holiday. It was very enjoyable!

On the drive home I played Christmas music while Jacob played movies with his head set on. One of the songs that really struck me this year had also struck me last year, but this time different emotions. The song was Immanuel by Point of Grace. This time last year I was struggling so much with watching my husband slowly die in front of me, not knowing when would be the last day I would have with him. It was a very hard Thanksgiving and Christmas season to get through. Even though he was still with us, he wasn’t the man he used to be, and I knew I was losing him already. There was a lot of sorrow surrounding the holidays. This Thanksgiving & Christmas, while we greatly miss Jeff, knowing he is in Heaven praising the Lord has brought more comfort than I can express. I cannot explain the kind of healing the Lord has been doing in my life these last 8 months. It is truly a miracle, there’s no other way to explain it. So as the song was playing, this year instead of tears of sorrow and crying out for the comfort from Immanuel (God With Us), I was able to thank God for the comfort of Immanuel because He has already shown His presence in my life, in my spirit, in my heart. I look back on the woman I was 8, 12, 18 months ago and I’m not sure I would recognize myself. I am so so thankful to God for his peace that passes all understanding, especially in a season when no one would blame me for being depressed, yet I am able to praise and have great peace. I pray for my fellow widow and widower friends who are hurting so deeply it physically hurts, this season is a hard one & I pray they experience this kind of peace in their lives. It truly is a miracle. 

I encourage you to check out the song, here are just a few lyrics from the chorus of Immanuel:

For all the broken
Here in this moment

Immanuel
Our God is with us
Yes, He is with us still
Immanuel
He has not left us
And He never will

He has not left us and He never will. This has been the message I have been sharing from the beginning of this blog journey. No matter what you’re going through, God has not left you and He isn’t going to! Take comfort in that and let that be your focus this Christmas!!

Happy Thanksgiving & Merry Christmas!!!

God Bless,

-A

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