Cancer · Change · Christmas · Joy · Life · Single Mom · Sorrow · Trials · Trusting God · Widow

November 2014

It’s been a while since I’ve done one of these month memory blogs. Life has truly run away with me these past couple months, which isn’t always a bad thing. Busy can be good, but I did not want to neglect this part of the blog. So here I go.

November 2014 had some really great memories. On the first we went sat in a parking lot with my brother & my parents and watched the air show from afar. The air show up close is really awesome, everyone should do it at least once… but you can get some really cool views by just finding a spot to relax from a distance, and it’s a lot more comfortable that way. We had a great day, it was a wonderful day of family bonding & one I won’t soon forget.

One of the things we loved doing as a family that we did not get to do often enough was go see high school football games. On the 7th, we got to go do that. We watched Deer Park play the neighboring Baytown. I remember the inflatable tunnel for Baytown had deflated and it looked so funny. We joked about how that it what Baytown would look like when our boys got done with them. Football season was a bitter sweet time each year for us. When it came to college and NFL, we were on very opposing teams, but I loved when we came together and supported our home team. We have many sweet memories from those games.

On Veteran’s Day I wore one of Jeff’s Army jackets. I never thought there would be a time when I wouldn’t want to wear his Army gear, and now I can’t seem to put it on for anything. It’s little things like that which will bring a flood of emotions. Most of his stuff still very much smells like him. So went and ate at Applebees. We were always so thankful to the restaurants that would offer special deals to veterans. Aaaaaand now I’m craving ribs from Applebees, perhaps I should move on haha.

On the 13th we got the chance to take family photos by our very talented friend. To this day, they are still my favorite photos. They hang on the wall in our living room and every time I see them, they make me smile.

Thanksgiving that year was spent with his family. We went out to his brother’s lake house, we had the whole clan together and then some. It was a wonderful time with great memories, it is always a good time when we get together.

One thing Jeff had always wanted to do was to go see the Bush 43 library. He wanted to see everything about 9-11 and his presidency as 43 was the reason he joined the military. So after Thanksgiving we drove up there with his parents, brother and his family. I think that was probably one of the most memorable days of his life. He was like an excited kid who wanted to see everything. We spent part of the weekend up there before driving back home to the real world. That for sure was a holiday weekend we will never forget.

At this time in the cancer journey, Jeff was still doing well, he was still responding to chemo, there was still hope he would have many more years. I always wanted him to be hopeful and optimistic, but for me, I always had the lingering reality in the back of my mind that God may not choose to heal him on earth, that his healing might just be when he received his Heavenly body. I tried not to dwell on it, wanted to dwell on hope that he could have more years here on earth. But as I spoke to a friend the other day about it, I had to always be prepared for becoming a widow. I had to keep reality in sight so I would not be blindsided if and when it happened. I needed to make sure to enjoy each moment as if it were the last, and it is because of that mindset, I remember more moments, more events big and small which I will carry with me always. This is a major reason why I believe my heart has grieved and healed in the way it has.

So friends, don’t take life for granted, make sure to find joy in all things big and small, and honor God with all you do. 

God Bless, 

-A

 

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