Uncategorized

Somebody to Love

Oh Lord
Ooh somebody, ooh somebody
Can anybody find me somebody to love?

I’d like to think I have been content in my life and where the Lord is taking me, I have experienced great joys even in the trials and pains of widowhood. Through all this time, I have been satisfied with being single and taking care of my boy (for the most part)… and honeslty, with baseball season thrown in, who had the time?! But for those of you who don’t know me, I am a dreamer, I am an encourager, I am a people person & once I got the taste of being a wife for over 5 years, I stirred up a passion in me I had never known before. That is something I greatly miss. We were created to live in community with others and serve the Lord with those in our lives. God puts passions in our lives and my passion since I was very young has always been to have a family. For a short while, I got a glimpse back into that agian. I had a relationship that didn’t work and now that passion has really stirred in me.

The downfall to that glimpse is that sometimes loneliness and impatience really sets in. I love my family & friends, and I have the best support system a girl could ask for, I just wish I had someone to romantically share that with. I say it often to my widow friends that I miss being a wife, for the love, the shared responsibilities & for having someone to lean on for better or worse. My continued prayer for my current season of life is to continue to rely on God for everything, for the comfort when I feel lonely & for the heart of whoever the man is that God will bring in my life.

For those who know me, if you know anyone who would be a great fit for me and the boy, feel free to set me up. Haha, but for real, I’m taking applications 😀

So in the words of Queen:

Find me somebody to love
Find me somebody to love
Find me somebody to love
Find me somebody to love
Find me somebody to love
Find me somebody to love
Find me somebody to love
Find me somebody to love love love
Find me somebody to love
Find me somebody to love
Somebody somebody somebody somebody
Somebody find me
Somebody find me somebody to love
Can anybody find me somebody to love?

Love you all!

God Bless,
A

Advertisements
Uncategorized

One Year

 

JG.jpg

Today we remember Jeffrey. One year ago today we Jeff lost the battle to Cancer, but because of his faith in Jesus Christ as the risen Savior, he won eternal life face to face with his Lord! Today, as we miss him, we celebrate his life, both here and in Heaven. He was a wonderful man who loved Christ, loved his family, loved his church, the students he volunteered with, love his country, was proud to be a US Army Veteran, he loved his sports (Packers, Rockets, Astros & Aggies) & he loved a good laugh. Surely today he is up there entertaining everyone with his funny voices, jokes & Carlton dance. He was one of a kind & today we are celebrating the life he lived. Today, we wear purple to bring awareness to Gastrointestinal Stromal Tumor (GIST) Cancer, a rare form with no cure and very few treatment options. We also wear Army today to honor this great country he loved and fought for. If you haven’t done so today, tell your family and friends you love them, hug them, kiss them, because you never know when it will be the last earthly moment you will get with them.

 

See you in Heaven Jeff.

-A

Uncategorized

10 Months

So it was no surprise to me with as hectic as the Holiday season was that I didn’t get around to doing my blog for the 9 month mark, it was the day after Christmas, so here we go just moving on to the 10 month update. Well… 10 months and 3 days.

Life has been crazy busy, just days after Christmas, all the decorations came down (but not put away, no no… I still have to do that) because with signing my new lease at my apartment, I got new flooring in my living and dining rooms. It’s the little things, but I am so glad to have the new flooring! It’s so much better than the carpet we have had.

So then on Saturdays I have started back to refereeing kids basketball. I have missed working with this ministry and these kids, it is the highlight of my week. It helps get me back into shape and do it the fun way! On top of it, I get to work with my dad and brother. I do this for 7 weeks and when its over, its very bitter sweet. I miss doing the job, but its nice to get my Friday nights and Saturday mornings back.

Soon Jacob will have baseball tryouts and that will take us into full swing madness no doubt, but I am so excited to get back into baseball season with him! 

Praising God for all these great things, but life has not been without its struggles. I am currently battling residual effects from having the flu which kept me out of work for days. Big changes coming up with a few things in the near future. Just trying to stay on top of responsibilities. But like always, God has shown his faithfulness to me. He has given great peace in the hard times. If you think of me, please pray for these changes and decisions. 

On Sunday the 7th, I was introduced to one of my new favorite worship songs. It was led to us in church by Chris Crump and instantly I felt the presence of the Spirit as the congregation sang out. The song was Reckless Love by Cory Ashbury.

It opens with:

“Before I spoke a word, You were singing over me
You have been so, so good to me
Before I took a breath, You breathed Your life in me
You have been so, so kind to me”

This is a great reminder that before we go through anything, God knows we will go through it (Colossians 1:17), and if we listen and are sensitive to the spirit, He prepares us ahead of time for the battles we will go through. Nothing takes Him by surprise, and while things will take us by surprise, if we are equipped with the Holy Spirit (only through accepting the perfect and free gift of salvation through Jesus Christ), and keep ourselves grounded in the Word of God, these surprises will not defeat us. They might sting us, stun us, knock us down even, but God will not leave us down for the count if we reach out our hand. He has been so so kind to us in this way.

The Chorus goes on to say:

“O, the overwhelming, never-ending, reckless love of God
O, it chases me down, fights ’til I’m found, leaves the ninety-nine
I couldn’t earn it, and I don’t deserve it, still, You give Yourself away
O, the overwhelming, never-ending, reckless love of God, yeah”

So in this stage of life, I am not in a place where I am running from God, but I have been. Many times I have told myself the lie from Satan than I can do it on my own and I don’t need the guidance from God. So if I did not take this time in life when I am so close to God to reach out to those who are running or maybe even know nothing of His Salvation, then what am I doing with my life? So as I sing this song in praise, it comforts me to remember those times when I was running and how fiercely God ran after me like leaving the 99 sheep to find the one. 

There are many great parts to the song, but the last part I will share is the Bridge, as I would love for you to check out the whole song and be as blessed as I have been by it:

“There’s no shadow You won’t light up
Mountain You won’t climb up
Coming after me
There’s no wall You won’t kick down
Lie You won’t tear down
Coming after me”

There are no lengths at which God will not go to get the attention of his children. I am reminded of Jonah, running as far away as he could to escape his calling of telling the people of Nineveh their sins…. God sent a freakin fish to swallow him! This is how much God loves us, He wants to get our attention so He can show us the truths He has for us and the wonders that await us in Heaven. Is this side of life hard? Absolutely! But He promises us He will never leave us nor forsake us. (Deuteronomy 31:6)

So that’s been my world the last several weeks. I look forward to hopefully getting more frequent with my posts now that holiday craziness has died down.

God Bless,

-A

 

 

Uncategorized

Hurricane & Widowhood

In the midst of Hurricane Harvey, through all the devastation, I couldn’t help but think about the comparison to widowhood.

Right now Texas is getting a lot of attention, a lot of aid, people from all over coming to help, and rightly so! We need it! But in the aftermath of the main storm, attention will begin to slow, help will decrease and eventually, whether we are ready or not, the help from all over will die down and we will be left to pick up the remaining pieces on our own. We may still have needs, still have hurts, still need help, but we will have to learn to do it for ourselves, rebuild, create a new normal & get into a new routine.

This is very similar to what it’s like becoming a widow. In the beginning, everyone brings meals, sends cards, calls or texts to check up on you, comes over for visits, offers to help with projects, etc.and then gradually it dies down, first it’s with those who aren’t as close to you, maybe it’s casual friends, maybe it’s friends of your late spouse, but they’re usually the first the stop contacting, then you have normal friends, people you see fairly regularly but maybe don’t share intimate details with, they help for a good while, the texts still come, tell you they’re thinking of you, but then mostly, those stop coming too. Eventually you are left with immediate family and best friends to love on you and share daily lives with you.

In both these situations, no matter how long it has been, the pain is still there, the images, the memories, the grief. So if you haven’t particularly experienced either of these grievances, reach out to a friend who is grieving loss. Love on them, share a meal, pray for them, don’t forget about them as your lives move on.

 

God Bless,

-A

Uncategorized

Let Go & Let God!

In reading part of Systematic Theology by Wayne Grudem tonight, one thing in particular struck me pretty hard:
“We cannot study this subject (referring to the living God) dispassionately! We must love all that God is, all that he says and all that he does.” Deuteronomy 6:5

Y’all, loving who God is is pretty easy, loving all God says is pretty difficult because of our sin nature & loving all He does can be very hard because of our lack of understanding God to the fullest, because we are finite & He is infinite! But that does not change the fact that we still must love all of who God is & trust Him in all things!

What are some ways you do not fully trust God as a believer in Christ? I will be searching my heart and working on any area I am struggling with, will you join me? Will you trust God with everything? Finances? Health? Future decisions? Your kids? Your lost family and friends? I can say that from the moment I actively chose to trust God with Jeff’s cancer was one of the most freeing moments of my life. Don’t let fear of the unknown and the chains of control keep you from living a passionate life for Christ!!

Let Go & Let God!

God Bless,

-A

Cancer · Joy · Life · Single Mom · Sorrow · Trials · Trusting God · Uncategorized · Widow

Speaking Truths into Struggles

I will continue on with more of my journey with Jeff’s cancer another time, but tonight I wanted to take a moment and just talk about my day. It is no surprise to me that as things have gone so well and I have seen blessings galore that Satan would try to spoil that. 1 Peter 5:7-9 says “Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.  Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that the family of believers throughout the world is undergoing the same kind of sufferings.”

Now I know that my current trials and sufferings are nowhere near like those who are being persecuted for their faith, but I know that what I am doing ticks the devil off and it can be exhausting when he throws things at you that you least expect. While today was rough physically and emotionally, I will  “rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18). After calling my mom and talking with her about the rough day I had, I began to just speak out the truths like “the eyes of the LORD are on those who fear him, on those whose hope is in His unfailing love,” (Psalm 33:18) and it was no surprise that “the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 4:7) is exactly what overtook my spirit tonight (this has been our family’s verse through Jeff’s cancer battle by the way).

So if you’re struggling tonight and wondering why trials are happening, hang in there! Search for the peace that can only come through the Holy Spirit! Speak truth into the situation! Lean into the Lord! Crawl up into the Heavenly Father’s lap tonight, that’s exactly what I will be doing! And if you don’t know Jesus, if He hasn’t saved you from your sin, please reach out to me! Let’s talk! I would love to share the hope and faith I have in Jesus with you!

That is all for the night, I’m going to wind down and let the Lord speak to me as I (hopefully) get some good rest to tackle the day tomorrow!!

God Bless,

-A